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There is a big storm coming in tonight. I love listening to the rain and thunder. I hope there is a lot of thunder.

It is the end of Wednesday. I was going to go to Parkside Church’s career class tonight. I keep missing it. Every Wednesday I either work through the class or completely forget that it is scheduled. I hate that. I really do think that it will be a wonderful resource for meeting new people and will help me get settled in Cleveland. I just need to go. I think I am not making it a priority because I am afraid. I need to just go and be assertive and make friends but it is really scary starting over. There is always next week.

I work a 3-11 shift tomorrow. I think I will be floating again to J71. My poor preceptor is dealing with some family stuff so I am having to work with various other preceptors. I think it is a good thing, it keeps me on my toes. The thought of being on my own definitely terrifies me. It is coming so soon. I still have so many questions. I am getting there, slowly but surely. Working for the Clinic is a wonderful opportunity. I do feel pressure being at the #1 heart hospital. I feel as if I should be perfect because if I mess up it seems (to me) to be a million times worse than if I would have been dumb looking at another hospital. Everyone expects perfection and efficiency and, try as I might, I cannot always give that to them. I am trying so hard to get everything right. I just have to keep studying and keep learning as much as I can everyday.

I picked up the book “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan today. I really like it so far. I have also been reading a daily devotional by Spurgeon. He’s a cool guy. It is strange to read regular books again. After the NCLEX I didn’t want to look at another book for months. I would begin to look at text on a page and everything would go double and I’d kind of glaze over. I am slowly getting back into reading again. I want the Kindle but it is so expensive! I wonder if it will ever come down in price or if they will just raise the price with a new version? It’s so cool!

Alright, I’m so sleepy…don’t know why I am rambling on so. I end with this:

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson


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