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My life has become a series of lessons. It seems every moment of every day is spent learning a new hard truth. I am becoming more used to it though. It was difficult for a while.

I felt completely lost no matter where I was. Work, home, the grocery store. Totally lost. Not only did I feel lost but I felt fear, anger, sadness, and like a complete and total failure. Why had I moved to freaking Ohio? There had been so many mistakes, misinterpretations. I was unsure about what to do next.

Really, I did know what I needed. It seemed pretty crazy to jump into a car and run to the mountains like I had done thousands of times before but that’s what seemed right so I went for it. I am so glad I did. I spent less than 24 hours in Virgina, but I was taken care of by sweet angels.

I rolled into Lynchburg at 7:30 pm to meet Ben who was standing outside waiting for me. I burst into tears and jumped out of the car and hugged him so tight. It was refreshing to be back in my old apartment, though it could not look any different than it did when I lived there. I am glad that I got to leave that place because there were tough times there, though it brought me a lot of joy. After a dinner at La Carreta and a meet up with Vegan, I settled down with Ben at the Radtke’s and we sat a talked like it was old times. They were so kind to stay up late with me though they had work early the next morning. Their friendship is so precious and I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. The next morning I went to the mountains for an hour or two then took back roads up to West Virginia then on home.

It was a simple trip – spur of the moment – but I do believe it is what helped me turn a corner. I had to step back and get back to what I know. While I was sitting in that room with Michelle, Jake and Ben, I felt like the person that I am – the person that I want to be. It is there somewhere. There was a lot of junk that kept my mind foggy. New job, new house, new town, NCLEX residual – all this was weighing me down. I thought a lot on the way home and decided to change the way I had been thinking. I have already seen a huge difference. The hard lessons keep coming, but I am handling things a lot better now. I am so thankful for that opportunity to go back to the mountains. I feel they will be a safe harbor for many years.


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